JOURNAL ENTRY 001 -JUNE 09,2026

For three years, I kept my head down, took orders, followed every direction given to me, and spent most of my energy helping build someone else’s dream while quietly trying to build my own. At the same time, I was doing everything I could to be the best friend, son, brother, lover, and artist anyone knew. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t see it through. I wasn’t able to create balance because I was drowning in my work to fund this new lifestyle my job had bought me. Little by little, I watched everything around me begin to decompose.

My creativity disappeared. My relationships became strained. The things that once made me feel alive were pushed aside in exchange for stability. The things that made me feel safe. The scary part is that from the outside, life looked better than ever. I was making the most money I’d ever made and moving up professionally, but internally I felt empty. Somewhere along the way, I stopped being myself and became my job.

By the time I looked in the mirror, I couldn’t recognize the person staring back at me. No longer was I Lenadro . This was something I could no longer allow.

So on May 5th, I quit. I walked out the very doors that once seemed so wide with hope, only to find them narrower than ever, with nothing but uncertainty waiting on the other side.

Since then, life has been anything but easy. I’ve applied to hundreds of jobs, faced rejection after rejection, questioned every decision I’ve made, and wondered if I had thrown away stability for nothing. But in the middle of all that uncertainty, I’ve started finding pieces of myself again. I’ve begun breaking down the habits, mindsets, and systems that contributed to my depression—some that still do to this day. I’ve started rebuilding healthier ones. Most importantly, I’ve started reconnecting with my purpose.

I’ve always known I wanted to be an artist. Since I was five years old, that’s the only thing I’ve been certain of. But now I understand that creativity doesn’t only exist behind a lens, a brush, or a microphone. Working in retail showed me the art behind business: the people who build experiences, shape brands, and create worlds for others to step into. It’s what sparked my interest in art direction, creative leadership, and eventually corporate roles within luxury fashion.

The road ahead is long, and I don’t have all the answers yet. What I do know is that after spending three years losing myself, I’ve finally started becoming myself again. And for the first time in a long time, that journey excites me more than it scares me.

JOURNAL ENTRY 002 -JUNE 10,2026

A friend of mine once told me I should start journaling. Just writing things down. Whatever’s on my mind. So I did that for a while.

 Random thoughts. Half finished ideas.Daily struggles ,emotions feeling the whole trifecta .Then I stopped. Just like most habits I try to adopt.

That’s something I’ve been realizing about myself lately: I want to change, but I struggle with consistency. Not motivation. Not ambition. Consistency.

I get excited about becoming a new version of myself. I buy a sketch book ,fancy pen. Create the schedule. Make the plan. Then somewhere along the way, life happens, and the habit disappears before it has a chance to become part of me.

Maybe that’s why this journal exists now.Not because I have everything figured out, but because I’m trying to prove to myself that I can stick with something.

Lately I’ve been posting content consistently and following an actual schedule for the first time in a long time. It’s a small win, but it’s a win nonetheless. So maybe this is the next thing I commit to.And if I’m being honest, I’m not even sure if writing online counts as journaling.

But I think the point was never having one  .The point was getting the thoughts out of my head. So if you’re reading this, thank you and I miss you friend .